I realized a little bit ago that I found myself always being offended or sensitive to things that were said around me that legit had nothing to do with me. In this midst of this, I came across a video of a woman saying:
“You don't need to forgive, you need to stop being offended.”
Those 11 words stuck with me because in that moment, I realized the problem was not those around me, but myself.
Merriam Webster defines the word offend as:
To violate, transgress
To cause to sin or fall
To cause (a person or group) to feel hurt, angry, or upset by something said or done
They take it a step further to say to offend “need not imply an intentional hurting but it may indicate merely a violation of the victim's sense of what is proper or fitting.”
Upon reading that, I couldn’t help but to think about Saul.
1 Samuel 18:5-9 reads,
5 And David went out wherever Saul sent him, and he prospered and behaved himself wisely; and Saul set him over the men of war. And it was satisfactory both to the people and to Saul’s servants.
6 As they were coming home, when David returned from killing the Philistine, the women came out of all the Israelite towns, singing and dancing, to meet King Saul with timbrels, songs of joy, and instruments of music.
7 And the women responded as they laughed and frolicked, saying, Saul has slain his thousands, and David his ten thousands.
8 And Saul was very angry, for the saying displeased him; and he said, They have ascribed to David ten thousands, but to me they have ascribed only thousands. What more can he have but the kingdom?
9 And Saul [jealously] eyed David from that day forward.
In this moment Saul was offended by the women’s comments, attributing David ten thousands but to him only thousands. Now Saul was still the king (in the physical sense) so the last thing these women wanted to do was transgress against the king because in some cases that could be punishable by death. The Hebrew word for ten thousand is the word rebabah which means an abundance, a myriad. In 1 Samuel, the word is used to describe an immeasurable blessing and divine empowerment, emphasizing The Lord's hand in David’s defeat of the Philistines who were a terror to Israel. Saul did not have any divine partnership due to his own shortcomings (1 Samuel 15) so he proceeded to blame others with the excuse of being offended. Saul’s insecurities became so loud that he couldn’t see that the women were not comparing them, but uplifting both of them.
Saints, don’t be like Saul or myself, creating offenses and becoming bitter because your shortcomings and insecurities are the lens of what is proper or fitting. 2 Corinthians 3:5 tells us that we have no reason to be insecure because we are sufficient in Him and He makes us whole. When we operate outside of Him, we are left with feelings of inadequacy that lead to imagined offenses.
1 Peter 5:8 tells us “Be sober [well balanced and self-disciplined], be alert and cautious at all times. That enemy of yours, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion [fiercely hungry], seeking someone to devour.”
Galatians 5:16-17 tells us “I say then: Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh. For the flesh lusts against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; and these are contrary to one another, so that you do not do the things that you wish.”
Remember the adversary can only get in through your flesh and to escape the flesh you must walk by the Spirit, taking our perspective, our mindset, from Him. I encourage you to survey your thoughts, lens, and perspective when you feel offended to determine if the issue is in you or in someone else.