God Was Always There
For these past few days, Father has led me to reflect on our relationship, and the journey I had to take, (and are still taking), to get to where He and I are now. This journey has not been easy, and I know that I still have a long way to go, however I do not regret a thing. The biggest lesson that I have learned while on this journey is that I am not alone. Deuteronomy 31:8 tells us, “ The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.” Oftentimes I felt alone and out of all the people that are living on this earth, there is no way the LORD is paying attention to me. As crazy as that statement sounds, I truly believed it.
As a child I went to church however I did not pay attention, because I did not understand anything that was being taught. Before elementary school I went to a christian preschool, where they taught us about the LORD. At the time, I was unable to appreciate it then, but now I can only thank Father for leading my parents to that institution. As I got older I was still going to church, and over the summer I attended a christian summer camp. One summer, my camp coordinator walked me through on what it meant to be saved. I was intrigued, however my eight year old self could not grasp what it meant to be truly saved, so I moved on.
February of 2013, I was the last of my siblings to get baptized. I felt the LORD tugging at me, urging me to accept Him into my life. I can only describe this feeling in the sense of Isaiah 43:1. After my baptism, I shortly received the gift of the Holy Spirit, in which I had my first encounter with speaking in tongues. At ten years old, I could not grasp what was going on, because I was not taught, so I moved on.
2018 was an important year for me. My pastor at the time, what seemed like every Sunday, was preaching about having an intimate relationship with the LORD. Father wants a relationship with us, and He made that clear when He gave His only begotten Son to die for us (see John 3:16). Not only was my pastor preaching about the relationship with the Father, my Sunday school teachers, and my theology teacher from high school mentioned it as well. I even had a dream, where my pastor was urging me to have a relationship with the LORD. I decided I was going to try to seek the LORD. I fell off so many times, I often felt like a dog returning to its own vomit (see Proverbs 26:11). However, the LORD was still waiting for me, because everytime I walked past my bible I had thoughts such as, now would be a good time to read your bible, it’s been a while since you read your bible. I managed to ignore those thoughts, which I recommend you don’t do.
Fast forward to 2020, everything was on lockdown and there was nothing to distract me. I had no excuses that could keep me from spending time with the LORD. Senior year of high school was over and I was getting ready for college. I made a vow with the LORD that it was going to be me and HIM. I promised to have a close and genuine relationship with Him. The summer of 2021, I moved on to campus to begin my sophomore year of college. While there I joined a christian group called Selah, where I found godly friends, and on November 11, 2021, I was introduced to His Apostle and Prophetess Wendy Connor. The LORD has taught me many things while being in Selah. One of those things is found in James 4:8. “Come near to God and he will come near to you.” As I have gotten closer to the LORD, He has revealed more of himself to me.
My journey with the LORD has symbolized Revelation 3:20. “Behold I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and eat with him, and he with me.” The LORD was always a part of my life, it just took me years to finally let Him in. The LORD is a gentleman, He will not budge His way into your life.
If you feel the LORD knocking on your door, I urge you to let Him in. Say this prayer with me.
LORD I acknowledged that I am a sinner, who is in need of saving. In your word, you said that if I call on your name I will be saved. LORD I call on your Name, I ask that you purify my heart and give me a new mind. Help me to keep your statutes and to not lean on my own understanding, but to acknowledge you in all my ways. I thank you Father for the gift of salvation that you have given me. In Jesus Name, Amen.