What Begets Lust

Today, we have to talk about lust; about community and lust.

Is it not true that one may lust after something when they perceive they are missing out on it? That it exists outside of their possession, when it should be in their possession – that is the mindset. Such strong desires are also related to greed and gluttony, pride and idolatry.

So, we recognize that when we engage in lust, it is due to a perceived emptiness that we are trying to fill up–but possibly not with anything good. In the Bible, Paul tells us to covet the best gifts of the Holy Spirit and we are told to seek righteousness (1Co 12:31, Ro 6:13). However, when we give into desires for what is not holy nor ordained by God, we fall into trouble.

Jesus is the only one who can satisfy our needs and fill us with good things (Ps 107:8-9, Jn 6:35, Ps 16:11). Now, when we become saints (set apart for God’s holy works, 1Pe 2:9 & more), we are part of Christ’s Church - His Body - and it is important to be connected to the Body of Christ, unless we are otherwise directed by the Lord, for a season. 

I want to consider the act of surrendering when it comes to being part of Christ’s holy community. To truly be connected with the Church, one must put down self-thought and take up thinking about others as more highly than themself (Ph 2:3, Ro 12:3). They must also surrender some of what they consider their privacy - their secrecy - because we must live in the light with each other; allow others to know us, our strengths and struggles, and allow them to show us love, as we reciprocate. It is a vulnerable space to be in, and it’s an act of surrender, trust, and obedience to God. It is also worth more than gold in a truly loving, Christ-centered community (1Jn 1:7,  Ec 4:9-12, Ga 6:2).

Check out the Church at the end of Acts 2:

42 And they continued steadfastly in the apostles’ doctrine and fellowship, in the breaking of bread, and in prayers. 43 Then fear came upon every soul, and many wonders and signs were done through the apostles. 44 Now all who believed were together, and had all things in common, 45 and sold their possessions and goods, and divided them among all, as anyone had need.

46 So continuing daily with one accord in the temple, and breaking bread from house to house, they ate their food with gladness and simplicity of heart, 47 praising God and having favor with all the people. And the Lord added to the church daily those who were being saved.

They surrendered ownership of their earthly possessions for the benefit of those in need and did this in one accord without seeking selfish gain. This looks like the opposite of lust and greed! This depiction brings such hope and joy, as that is what Christ’s Bride, the Church, is preparing to be like!

Our next passage is not as easy to read. This story about King David’s children is a good example of a terrible situation, stemming from lust and bad company. Please be advised: this involves forced relations.

For context regarding the family… Amnon was the eldest son of David with Ahinoam, David's second wife. Absalom was David's third son with Maacah, daughter of King Talmai of Geshur & third wife to David. Tamar is also Maacah's daughter.

2 Samuel 13

Amnon and Tamar

1 After this Absalom the son of David had a lovely sister, whose name was Tamar; and Amnon the son of David loved her. 2 Amnon was so distressed over his sister Tamar that he became sick; for she was a virgin. And it was improper for Amnon to do anything to her. 3 But Amnon had a friend whose name was Jonadab the son of Shimeah, David’s brother. Now Jonadab was a very crafty man. 4 And he said to him, “Why are you, the king’s son, becoming thinner day after day? Will you not tell me?”

Amnon said to him, “I love Tamar, my brother Absalom’s sister.”

5 So Jonadab said to him, “Lie down on your bed and pretend to be ill. And when your father comes to see you, say to him, ‘Please let my sister Tamar come and give me food, and prepare the food in my sight, that I may see it and eat it from her hand.’ ” 6 Then Amnon lay down and pretended to be ill; and when the king came to see him, Amnon said to the king, “Please let Tamar my sister come and make a couple of cakes for me in my sight, that I may eat from her hand.”

7 And David sent home to Tamar, saying, “Now go to your brother Amnon’s house, and prepare food for him.” 8 So Tamar went to her brother Amnon’s house; and he was lying down. Then she took flour and kneaded it, made cakes in his sight, and baked the cakes. 9 And she took the pan and placed them out before him, but he refused to eat. Then Amnon said, “Have everyone go out from me.” And they all went out from him. 10 Then Amnon said to Tamar, “Bring the food into the bedroom, that I may eat from your hand.” And Tamar took the cakes which she had made, and brought them to Amnon her brother in the bedroom. 11 Now when she had brought them to him to eat, he took hold of her and said to her, “Come, lie with me, my sister.”

12 But she answered him, “No, my brother, do not force me, for no such thing should be done in Israel. Do not do this disgraceful thing! 13 And I, where could I take my shame? And as for you, you would be like one of the fools in Israel. Now therefore, please speak to the king; for he will not withhold me from you.” 14 However, he would not heed her voice; and being stronger than she, he forced her and lay with her.

15 Then Amnon hated her exceedingly, so that the hatred with which he hated her was greater than the love with which he had loved her. And Amnon said to her, “Arise, be gone!”

16 So she said to him, “No, indeed! This evil of sending me away is worse than the other that you did to me.”

But he would not listen to her. 17 Then he called his servant who attended him, and said, “Here! Put this woman out, away from me, and bolt the door behind her.” 18 Now she had on a robe of many colors, for the king’s virgin daughters wore such apparel. And his servant put her out and bolted the door behind her.

19 Then Tamar put ashes on her head, and tore her robe of many colors that was on her, and laid her hand on her head and went away crying bitterly. 20 And Absalom her brother said to her, “Has Amnon your brother been with you? But now hold your peace, my sister. He is your brother; do not take this thing to heart.” So Tamar remained desolate in her brother Absalom’s house.

21 But when King David heard of all these things, he was very angry. 22 And Absalom spoke to his brother Amnon neither good nor bad. For Absalom hated Amnon, because he had forced his sister Tamar.

Absalom Murders Amnon

23 And it came to pass, after two full years, that Absalom had sheepshearers in Baal Hazor, which is near Ephraim; so Absalom invited all the king’s sons. 24 Then Absalom came to the king and said, “Kindly note, your servant has sheepshearers; please, let the king and his servants go with your servant.”

25 But the king said to Absalom, “No, my son, let us not all go now, lest we be a burden to you.” Then he urged him, but he would not go; and he blessed him.

26 Then Absalom said, “If not, please let my brother Amnon go with us.”

And the king said to him, “Why should he go with you?” 27 But Absalom urged him; so he let Amnon and all the king’s sons go with him.

28 Now Absalom had commanded his servants, saying, “Watch now, when Amnon’s heart is merry with wine, and when I say to you, ‘Strike Amnon!’ then kill him. Do not be afraid. Have I not commanded you? Be courageous and valiant.” 29 So the servants of Absalom did to Amnon as Absalom had commanded. Then all the king’s sons arose, and each one got on his mule and fled.

30 And it came to pass, while they were on the way, that news came to David, saying, “Absalom has killed all the king’s sons, and not one of them is left!” 31 So the king arose and tore his garments and lay on the ground, and all his servants stood by with their clothes torn. 32 Then Jonadab the son of Shimeah, David’s brother, answered and said, “Let not my lord suppose they have killed all the young men, the king’s sons, for only Amnon is dead. For by the command of Absalom this has been determined from the day that he forced his sister Tamar. 33 Now therefore, let not my lord the king take the thing to his heart, to think that all the king’s sons are dead. For only Amnon is dead.”

Absalom Flees to Geshur

34 Then Absalom fled. And the young man who was keeping watch lifted his eyes and looked, and there, many people were coming from the road on the hillside behind him. 35 And Jonadab said to the king, “Look, the king’s sons are coming; as your servant said, so it is.” 36 So it was, as soon as he had finished speaking, that the king’s sons indeed came, and they lifted up their voice and wept. Also the king and all his servants wept very bitterly.

37 But Absalom fled and went to Talmai the son of Ammihud, king of Geshur. And David mourned for his son every day. 38 So Absalom fled and went to Geshur, and was there three years. 39 And King David longed to go to Absalom. For he had been comforted concerning Amnon, because he was dead.

How much did you catch happening in this story? There is much more to glean from than to be discussed, here. In it, there is much deception, there is revenge, and even inexplicable wrath shown by Amnon (possibly due to opening himself up to demonic influence, as he fell to temptation and committed sinful acts). Although Amnon wanted it strongly, it is clear that doing such a vile thing did not satisfy him. It only led to heartache and encouraged more sin. It is also important to note that this story is told shortly after David’s adultery with Bathsheba and the murder of her first husband, Uriah in 2 Samuel 11. Amnon’s actions show the beginning of David’s punishment from the Lord.

Notice that Jonadab, David’s nephew, appears at the beginning and end of the chapter, negatively influencing Amnon and somehow knowing the truth of his death while David’s servants didn’t understand the whole truth. Jonadab was bad company and we have been taught to mark those like him who will call us “friends” but lead us away from godly love (Ro 16:17-18). 

It would be hard to leave this moment without sympathizing with Tamar and those like her. In her obedience to her father and kindness to her brother, she was violated and humiliated due to having little strength— being delivered into hands with devious intention. The typical way of justice/law was not fulfilled for her; instead, grief was spread. Even in verses 20-22, and for two years after, it seemed that her loved ones would not take care of the situation. I sympathize with Tamar and anyone who relates to her experience. Read Psalm 34:18-22.

2 Timothy 2:22 

Flee also youthful lusts; but pursue righteousness, faith, love, peace with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.

As we flee from lust, we can also remember the verse that reminds us: when we resist the devil, he will flee from us.

Friend, if you have been running from Christian community - or good, godly friends - ask yourself if part of it is that you're running from conviction. If you feel guilty for not meeting a certain standard that you, the enemy, or someone else has placed on yourself... The Lord is saying to you right now to stop running from such conviction because it is leading you straight into condemnation. These convictions are signs of closeness with - and yearning to be obedient to - God. Walk toward Him, love, not away. Fall at His feet as you need to. His arms are truly open wide. (1Jn 1:9, 3:19-24 and Ro 5:8, 8:1)

May God’s Peace reside with you

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